


Just Enough For You To Save Me

by NightSkyTyler



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Religious Guilt, emotional tyler, joshler - Freeform, prolly some errors, vent fic really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 08:49:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11414400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightSkyTyler/pseuds/NightSkyTyler
Summary: Tyler feels guilty and confesses his sins.





	Just Enough For You To Save Me

**Author's Note:**

> Idk why I wrote this tbh.

The night was chilly, wind nipping at his exposed nose as the street lights flickered above his head.  
The streets were quite as the lights ahead switched from green, to yellow, to red and a single car passed through.  
The stars were bright in the navy sky as the full moon above sat upon a throne of clouds, illuminating the sky with a silver glow.  
The streets were buzzing with silence, so quiet that it was too loud for Tyler's nervous, self destructing mind and he was positive he could hear the electricity surging through the wires above him if he focused hard enough. 

His breath was heavy as it fell past his chapped, bitten lips in small puffs that were visible in the cool, night air.  
Tears pooled in his brown eyes, but he refused to let them fall as he kicked at small pebbles in front of his feet.  
He wiped at his eyes hastily before climbing the chipped white stairs, holding onto the railing as his body seemed to grow unbearably heavy with each step closer to the doors.  
The old, chestnut door opened with a slight creak as he stepped into the warm building, lowering his head in shame as he walked across the dimly lit room.  
Empty pews haunted him in the soft red glow of the night bouncing from the painted walls as he sighed, finally allowing a few silent tears to slip the corners of his eyes.  
Tyler sat down as he reached an old black bench seated directly in front of a curtain covered window, the deep red shielding anyone from seeing in or out.  
"Father, I'm lost," Tyler croaked as he sat down and cradled his head in his hands, holding back sobs as best as he can.  
His head was pounding with the stress he was feeling, and unshed tears as the guilt seeped into his heart at the realization of how long it has been since he's been to church.

"What are you lost about, son?" 

The voice sounded like it belonged to an older man, Tyler imagined him as his grandfather. It helped ease his nerves.  
"There's so many things I've done, so many things I'm doing, thing I'll never be able to give up," Tyler sobbed as he wiped under his eyes and sniffled into the otherwise quiet room.  
"We all do bad things, son, but god forgives all. If you accept him into your heart and let him guide you, he will not steer you wrong."  
Tyler smiled half heartedly as he sniffled, the room going quiet for a few seconds until Tyler finally spoke up. 

"Can you call me Tyler? It'd just help, if you could," Tyler spoke timidly as his voice broke off at the end and new tears threatened to spill, but he wouldn't allow them too. Not yet.  
"Tyler, what is it that troubles your heart?"

A sharp inhale was heard before Tyler closed his eyes and braced himself, "I, ... I'm in love with another man," Tyler cried as tears came heavier than before and his fists were white as they stayed in fists at his side.

"And why is that troubling for you, Tyler?"

The voice didn't seem convicting, but more comforting as the question filled the air so easily. 

"Because I'm a man. I grew up in a Christian family, always attending church and even attending a private Christian school up until college. My parents were so disgusted when I told them, my mother has never looked at me like that. Her whole face was so, so ..... full of hatred. I never meant to hurt her, I never meant to let them down."  
Tyler's soft cries were the only sound heard as his breath mingled in the air and he turned his head to the ceiling and closed his eyes.  
"Sounds like your parents are the ones that should be asking for forgiveness, Tyler. The world has accepted hate without realizing it, you've done nothing wrong, or at least from what you've told me. Tell me about this boy, do you truly love him?"

Tyler smiled as the tears begin to stop falling, and a smile couldn't stop from creeping onto his face. 

"Josh, he's so beautiful, so, so, so beautiful. Running my fingers through his hair feels like home as his arms encircle me, and I rest my face against his chest to hear his heart. He's so comforting, and on my worst days he's all I need. It's so easy with him, he's my best friend. I don't know how to explain it, but he's right? It's a bit vague, I know, but that's all I can think of. He makes me fall short of words and I just...," Tyler trailed off with a smile on his face, bliss finally out weighing the pain he was recently feeling.  
A brief pause was shared before Tyler spoke up again, his voice small like a child's:  
"He's the only thing that feels right. How can he feel so right when it's supposed to be so wrong? How can it be a sin, when it feels like heaven. I've never felt love like this, he makes me want to be a better person every day. He's so smart, funny, and caring. He's so close to being perfect, and I just don't see how loving him can be a sin. What do I do, father? I can't give him up, he's all I want."

There was a short pause, a few minutes of just Tyler breathing before the answer came, slowly flooding through the thick curtain separating him from the man he's was spilling all of his confessions to.

"Keep loving him. God will never mislead you, ever and if your heart tells you that he's the one, don't second guess. Society doesn't know the plans he had set out for us, so don't believe them just because they feel differently about the situation."

Without hesitation, Tyler was speaking up:

"What about the Bible? I don't understand," Tyler spluttered as he grew more confused.

"Tyler, I can assure you that the Bible does not preach hate. Some people just turn a blind eye to the real meaning of some passages."  
With his heart feeling relieved and the tears long gone, Tyler stood before wiping at his eyes for a final time. 

"Thank you father, I must get going. He's probably worried about me," Tyler smiled at the thought of Josh's over protective ways.  
"Tyler, do you own a bible?"

"Yes, father, I do."

"1 Peter 4:8."

Tyler made a mental note before standing up and leaving, breathing in sharply as he came face to face with pale pink curls and warm, honey colored eyes.  
"Joshua?"

The name fell from his lips in a gasp, trembling in the night air as eyes widened and vulnerability filled his body.  
"Tyler, I'm so sorry."

Before Tyler could respond Josh's arms were encircling his small waist and pulling him close, inhaling deeply as his nose became buried in the mess of Tyler's hair.  
"I love you so much," Josh promised as he pulled back and sweetly pressed his lips to Tyler's, "I'm never going to leave you."  
The duo sat in the very last pew, large arms encircling Tyler's waist as he sat in the older boy's lap. 

Tyler pulled out a bible from the shelf on the back of the chair, opening it up to find the scripture he was in search of.  
His hands entertained with Josh's and the older boy squeezed it reassuringly, pressing a small kiss to the back of Tyler's neck.  
A few tears fell from his eyes as he read the passage out loud, "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Peter 4:8"  
Tyler turned to Josh and held his hand even tighter as he slowly pressed their lips together and allowed it to linger innocently.

"I was never ashamed of loving you, Josh. I will never be ashamed of loving you."

"I know, Tyler. It's okay, I understand."

Tyler stood up and pulled Josh with him by their still conjoined hands as he smiled widely, finally able to feel the guilt that used to consume him chip away. 

"Come on, let's go home."


End file.
